Figure 1A: What “Spokesmen for Islam in the West” are really trying to do.

It is strangely entertaining (after the rage wears off) seeing “Muslim Spokesmen for the West” going out of the way to capitulate and reconcile to the dominant culture around them, even at the expense of Islam. The only people that believe they are fitting in are the spokesmen. Americans know that this is a joke and a sport and a jest. The American white man and English people know that faithful Muslims don’t celebrate Christmas, yet we are already been shown a holiday feast of foolishness involving a Muslim family purportedly celebrating Christmas.

And if that was not bad enough, you have Muslims singing Christmas carols, strumming the guitar and even making the testimony of faith to the tune of Deck the Halls with the music blaring along with it. The first time I was shown this, I asked myself, “Is this mocking the religion to the point that it would constitute kufr?” Man, I dunno sometimes. Find an unbeliever who will watch this all the way through and not wretch.

It’s one thing if you don’t believe in Revelation and you mock it. This is expected. Why would you be Muslim and then mock Revelation yet still assert in the same breathe that you are Muslim? I have seen the Ramadan Bush, the open glorification of other gods besides Allah by people who would say that they are Muslims and also suggest  INSIST that they are still Muslim while doing so and I have not become desensitised to it. It still disturbs me and I still despise it.

I still cringe at the Muslims that did Christmas and Mawlid a few years ago. Now they’ve even started decorating cars during that “special time of the year.” Again, this open mockery of Revelation and then believing this is somehow pleasing and good to the Lord of all. I just don’t know.

Again, these same people distorting religion believe that this shows they are American, yet Americans and English people (the target groups who are also assumed to be stupid by “Spokesmen for Islam in the West”) know that this is not true. Yeah, nevermind all of the other stuff going on regarding Islam that needs addressing. Let’s just keep it fuzzy.

Everyone who has a modicum of intelligence knows that the Founding Fathers, the Civil War and even the War of 1812 did not have “Muslim pilgrims” singing carols. It simply is not part of American tapestry and society. The same thing goes for England. So when one of these blueberry muffins appears on television and mouths, “I’m just like you! We’re the same.” I say to myself, “Have you looked in the mirror recently?”

Yeah, you’re right. Americans and English people veil their faces, pray five times a day and go without food for thirty days every year. Somehow I just don’t think they do. It also shows an inferiority complex that someone would go to such great lengths to try to show the host society that they are the same when they are not. I am curious how long this charade will continue before these people are laid low by a Lord who is not mocked.

The next step is that one of the senior “Spokesmen for Islam in the West” will need to come out as an agnostic or homosexual (or even trans to keep it good and funky) so that the process can be complete and there will be a clean break between American/British Islam and the rest of the body of the Muslims. We may see another religion forming in our lifetime.

Until next time,

Al-Hajj Abu Ja`far Al-Hanbali


Figure 1A: St. Peter’s Basilica

Below is the original declaration of Pope Alexander VI explaining the reason for the Columbus voyage. In light of the fact that his 500th anniversary was celebrated not long ago, we thought it useful to present this to the readers for perusal. The source for this – which is a Catholic authority – is below the article. Please read below:


Inter Caetera

Division of the undiscovered world between Spain and Portugal


Pope Alexander VI – May 4, 1493

Alexander, bishop, servant of the servants of God, to the illustrious sovereigns, our very dear son in Christ, Ferdinand, king, and our very dear daughter in Christ, Isabella, queen of Castile, Leon, Aragon, Sicily, and Granada, health and apostolic benediction. Among other works well pleasing to the Divine Majesty and cherished of our heart, this assuredly ranks highest, that in our times especially the Catholic faith and the Christian religion be exalted and be everywhere increased and spread, that the health of souls be cared for and that barbarous nations be overthrown and brought to the faith itself.

Wherefore inasmuch as by the favor of divine clemency, we, though of insufficient merits, have been called to this Holy See of Peter, recognizing that as true Catholic kings and princes, such as we have known you always to be, and as your illustrious deeds already known to almost the whole world declare, you not only eagerly desire but with every effort, zeal, and diligence, without regard to hardships, expenses, dangers, with the shedding even of your blood, are laboring to that end; recognizing also that you have long since dedicated to this purpose your whole soul and all your endeavors — as witnessed in these times with so much glory to the Divine Name in your recovery of the kingdom of Granada from the yoke of the Saracens — we therefore are rightly led, and hold it as our duty, to grant you even of our own accord and in your favor those things whereby with effort each day more hearty you may be enabled for the honor of God himself and the spread of the Christian rule to carry forward your holy and praiseworthy purpose so pleasing to immortal God.

We have indeed learned that you, who for a long time had intended to seek out and discover certain islands and mainlands remote and unknown and not hitherto discovered by others, to the end that you might bring to the worship of our Redeemer and the profession of the Catholic faith their residents and inhabitants, having been up to the present time greatly engaged in the siege and recovery of the kingdom itself of Granada were unable to accomplish this holy and praiseworthy purpose; but the said kingdom having at length been regained, as was pleasing to the Lord, you, with the wish to fulfill your desire, chose our beloved son, Christopher Columbus, a man assuredly worthy and of the highest recommendations and fitted for so great an undertaking, whom you furnished with ships and men equipped for like designs, not without the greatest hardships, dangers, and expenses, to make diligent quest for these remote and unknown mainlands and islands through the sea, where hitherto no one had sailed; and they at length, with divine aid and with the utmost diligence sailing in the ocean sea, discovered certain very remote islands and even mainlands that hitherto had not been discovered by others; wherein dwell very many peoples living in peace, and, as reported, going unclothed, and not eating flesh. Moreover, as your aforesaid envoys are of opinion, these very peoples living in the said islands and countries believe in one God, the Creator in heaven, and seem sufficiently disposed to embrace the Catholic faith and be trained in good morals.

And it is hoped that, were they instructed, the name of the Savior, our Lord Jesus Christ, would easily be introduced into the said countries and islands. Also, on one of the chief of these aforesaid islands the said Christopher has already caused to be put together and built a fortress fairly equipped, wherein he has stationed as garrison certain Christians, companions of his, who are to make search for other remote and unknown islands and mainlands. In the islands and countries already discovered are found gold, spices, and very many other precious things of divers kinds and qualities.

Wherefore, as becomes Catholic kings and princes, after earnest consideration of all matters, especially of the rise and spread of the Catholic faith, as was the fashion of your ancestors, kings of renowned memory, you have purposed with the favor of divine clemency to bring under your sway the said mainlands and islands with their residents and inhabitants and to bring them to the Catholic faith. Hence, heartily commending in the Lord this your holy and praiseworthy purpose, and desirous that it be duly accomplished, and that the name of our Savior be carried into those regions, we exhort you very earnestly in the Lord and by your reception of holy baptism, whereby you are bound to our apostolic commands, and by the bowels of the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ, enjoin strictly, that inasmuch as with eager zeal for the true faith you design to equip and despatch this expedition, you purpose also, as is your duty, to lead the peoples dwelling in those islands and countries to embrace the Christian religion; nor at any time let dangers or hardships deter you therefrom, with the stout hope and trust in your hearts that Almighty God will further your undertakings.

And, in order that you may enter upon so great an undertaking with greater readiness and heartiness endowed with the benefit of our apostolic favor, we, of our own accord, not at your instance nor the request of anyone else in your regard, but of our own sole largess and certain knowledge and out of the fullness of our apostolic power, by the authority of Almighty God conferred upon us in blessed Peter and of the vicarship of Jesus Christ, which we hold on earth, do by tenor of these presents, should any of said islands have been found by your envoys and captains, give, grant, and assign to you and your heirs and successors, kings of Castile and Leon, forever, together with all their dominions, cities, camps, places, and villages, and all rights, jurisdictions, and appurtenances, all islands and mainlands found and to be found, discovered and to be discovered towards the west and south, by drawing and establishing a line from the Arctic pole, namely the north, to the Antarctic pole, namely the south, no matter whether the said mainlands and islands are found and to be found in the direction of India or towards any other quarter, the said line to be distant one hundred leagues towards the west and south from any of the islands commonly known as the Azores and Cape Verde.

With this proviso however that none of the islands and mainlands, found and to be found, discovered and to be discovered, beyond that said line towards the west and south, be in the actual possession of any Christian king or prince up to the birthday of our Lord Jesus Christ just past from which the present year one thousand four hundred and ninety-three begins. And we make, appoint, and depute you and your said heirs and successors lords of them with full and free power, authority, and jurisdiction of every kind; with this proviso however, that by this our gift, grant, and assignment no right acquired by any Christian prince, who may be in actual possession of said islands and mainlands prior to the said birthday of our Lord Jesus Christ, is hereby to be understood to be withdrawn or taken away.

Moreover we command you in virtue of holy obedience that, employing all due diligence in the premises, as you also promise — nor do we doubt your compliance therein in accordance with your loyalty and royal greatness of spirit — you should appoint to the aforesaid mmainlands and islands worthy, God-fearing, learned, skilled, and experienced men, in order to instruct the aforesaid inhabitants and residents in the Catholic faith and train them in good morals. Furthermore, under penalty of excommunication late sententie to be incurred ipso facto , should anyone thus contravene, we strictly forbid all persons of whatsoever rank, even imperial and royal, or of whatsoever estate, degree, order, or condition, to dare, without your special permit or that of your aforesaid heirs and successors, to go for the purpose of trade or any other reason to the islands or mainlands, found and to be found, discovered and to be discovered, towards the west and south, by drawing and establishing a line from the Arctic pole to the Antarctic pole, no matter whether the mainlands and islands, found and to be found, lie in the direction of India or toward any other quarter whatsoever, the said line to be distant one hundred leagues towards the west and south, as is aforesaid, from any of the islands commonly known as the Azores and Cape Verde; apostolic constitutions and ordinances and other decrees whatsoever to the contrary notwithstanding.

We trust in Him from whom empires and governments and all good things proceed, that, should you, with the Lord’s guidance, pursue this holy and praiseworthy undertaking, in a short while your hardships and endeavors will attain the most felicitous result, to the happiness and glory of all Christendom. But inasmuch as it would be difficult to have these present letters sent to all places where desirable, we wish, and with similar accord and knowledge do decree, that to copies of them, signed by the hand of a public notary commissioned therefor, and sealed with the seal of any ecclesiastical officer or ecclesiastical court, the same respect is to be shown in court and outside as well as anywhere else as would be given to these presents should they thus be exhibited or shown.

Let no one, therefore, infringe, or with rash boldness contravene, this our recommendation, exhortation, requisition, gift, grant, assignment, constitution, deputation, decree, mandate, prohibition, and will. Should anyone presume to attempt this, be it known to him that he will incur the wrath of Almighty God and of the blessed apostles Peter and Paul. Given at Rome, at St. Peter’s, in the year of the incarnation of our Lord one thousand four hundred and ninety-three, the fourth of May, and the first year of our pontificate.

Gratis by order of our most holy lord, the pope.

Alexander VI
May 4, 1493

June. For the referendary, For J. Bufolinus, A. de Mucciarellis. A. Santoseverino. L. Podocatharus.





Figure 1A: the Pakistani protagonist hero.

We now stand at the second episode of this four part series. We begin with our Daesh soldiers taking a “selfie” in the back of what appears to be a Datsun truck. It’s after the oath of allegiance has been given and the men make their way to the front line to set up for a pitched battle.

As usual, we had the friendly white guy (sub-plot: he must be a spy ’cause he’s white!) giving greeting to everyone while our Pakistani heroes sneered in derision as if to say, “Is he new here or something?”

Back at the ladies dorm, the girls are playing dress up, putting niqabs on each other instead of individually standing in the mirror like normal people as women do. They are standing just outside of a local market and preparing for something ominous.

The girls walk along and find some women who are in violation. Some have a niqab that is just to thin…others have an abaya that is not loose enough (the runners at the bottom of the screen again! Yes!)…and then finally they come across the target.

A woman uncovered and in the market speaking with one of the shop keepers. She is taken and beaten about the feet with what at first glance looks like a bamboo rod for not having her mahrem with her at the market.

This is actually a factual presentation. Daesh frequently confined women to their quarters and refused to let them out. There is no text for this at all. The only Ahadith on restriction are well known, one of them being in Al-Baihaqi’s collection in which the Prophet, peace and blessings of Allah be upon him, said,

“No woman who believes in Allah and the Last Day should travel a day and a night except having a mahram with him.”

This is understood by all scholars to mean more than the distance for shortening prayers, meaning 48+ miles. In spite of this, Daesh’s response is to do the one thing they say they never do: interpret and analogise.

Figure 2A: Procession of the lemmings.

They say that this time is more filthy than before and that the safest place for a woman in this situation is in the house. They then take a hadith about women praying at home and standardise it to women in general. Gotta love it!

Umm Zubair, our West Indian token, came for no other reason than patience but also to help the wounded. She said that her degree would be of use and was rebuffed. One day she took her son Isaac and said she is going. Showing her paper to the reluctant den mother, she quickly makes her way to the hospital.

When she first arrives, the administrator rebuffs her and tells her to go home. She is persistent though. She returns pleading for a second chance and is interrupted by an overworked floor doctor who urgently requests her help. The administrator relents but not without grumbling.

When we get back to the men, we find our Pakistani protagonist making more friends with some of the whites there; he then sneaks a call home and his terrified mother now realises her son has fled to Syria. What in the HELL is he doing calling home with an unsecure phone with a traceable SIM card?

That aside, we are also treated to the injured in need of medical attention at a short staffed hospital. Not enough medicine, not enough blood in the refrigerator, not enough tunicates. The imagery here is decent although a little overdone.

The protagonist man learns that the British soldier working with them has secrets of his own but better training and better reasons for being there. We next come to a marriage between Ishra and an Arab who by his accent is most likely Libyan.

She knows no Arabic with English while the man knows no English and only Arabic. The marriage ceremony is so creepy it makes me wonder if they consulted the makers of Friday the 13th for atmosphere and lighting.

As the men take their victory lap through Raqqa, one of them is interviewing the people on the street with a camera and handheld mic along with armed men in the back. Our Daesh spokesman gave a soft smile and asked, “How has life been in the Islamic State.”

When the guy answered in Arabic, “Oh, so good! All our needs are met. We are so happy!” I fell out laughing and had to rewind it. I thought of the scene in Extremities when the rapist had the knife put to his throat and was forced to answer in the affirmative to a number of statements.

And again to complete the episode, we had to have the stereotypical Jamaican guy making lewd references and ranting, gun in hand with a dismayed crowd. The episode jumps back to Ishra meeting the mujahid from earlier in the marital bed and she is scared witless. I love the Arabic dialogue.

“Don’t fear me. You are so sweet…oh, so sweet…” Man, this stuff is so bad…it’s so good. I’m sure this is going to be a cult classic like Rocky Horror Picture Show, Hair or Grease. It’s just gotta be.

I believe this scene is supposed to scare viewers but it only left me feeling like this was a bad advertisement for Molly McButter. When we go back to the men, they are made to witness the amputation of a man’s hand with a meat cleaver.

What? No local anaesthetic? Nope. It appears that the screaming man was left to his fate. As with their custom, the lengthy Arabic dialogue beforehand went untranslated and thus monolinguals are just left with seeing a hand get hacked and a guy screaming.

The Arabic wasn’t actually vile or harmful at all. It kept in line with the standard Daesh stuff we normally hear. The man was being punished for having stolen and that this is the fate for all who violate the norms of what Allah has revealed. This is the gist of what was said.

For the sake of theatre, I think they left that out and they just let the guy screaming like a chicken to drive the point home. You see, this is what happens when Islam is left to rule! That’s the point being driven home.

Isaac is going down the path to violence as Umm Zubair turned him over to his new school. At first he is reticent but as time goes on he warms to the killing, violence, degradation and all around savagery.

Umm Zubair takes to doing videos for Daesh and often gives contradictory reports on what she is meant to give to the wider audience. No glowing reviews but instead almost a warning. Good cinematography and showing the internal struggle of Umm Zubair.

The Pakistani protagonist ends out the episode with an Arab soldier who is working on an American truck. Our protagonist strikes up a conversation and over time the music lets us know something momentous is to come. There it is…its’ coming! Here it is!

The very reason he came to Raqqa in the first place was to follow after his brother and be like him. Now in speaking to his Arab compatriot he wants to know about his brother. The Arab soldier looks at him coolly and responds that his brother did not die in battle as he thinks. He was executed as a deserter.

The episode concludes with Umm Zubair putting to bed a newly hardened Isaac and the protagonist looking at the picture of his deceased brother with new disgust and spending a sleepless night. What a cliffhanger!

So I saw this at my local store…

Parents have so many responsibilities. Let children be children.

Recently, I went into the local store looking for sweets to give my children for our weekly sunnah khatam. Licorice. Check. Cream soda. Check. Chocolate, funyuns, fig newtons, gum. Check. Camel balls…wait a minute. Wait just a second, not a minute. Staring me right in the face, I could see the caption. Now you look at it and tell me what’s on your mind.

Figure 1A: Camel balls. Look at the caption and ask yourself if this is suggestive of anything.

Oh, Abu Ja`far! You are such a prude. You’re reading way much into this thing. Look at the box. LOOK AT IT! Here we have a camel, grinning widely with his head turned to the back to survey his testicles. AND THERE THEY ARE! And the colour and shape of the candy is the same. Yet I’m jumping to conclusions. Think so? How about TORO BALLS?

Figure 2A: Toro Balls. Similar to Camel Balls and the same pose is being utilised.

Sound impossible? Here you go. Take a look at these! Still think I’m jumping to conclusions.

Figure 3A: Spermies. The caption on the candy reads: “The candy you love to swallow.”

How about Spermies? What about those…I know I’m dating myself but what about Hot Tomales, Mike N’ Ikes, Crackerjacks (the one with the kid on front, presumably he was the cracker, wasn’t he?), Laffy Taffys and so on.

Now I have this to worry about and think over. What I am wondering is the following:

How did this get past management in the advertising company. Didn’t anyone speak to the supervisor at work or did the head executive not say that they should back off that line of advertising? Then it made it to the shelves. Didn’t store managers wonder? Didn’t regional managers say, “Hey, I’m not stocking that stuff. Damn it, this is a family store.”

I just don’t know what to think. Perhaps I should shop in the ultra-orthodox stores. Not only will they not have anything that’s not Glatt Kosher, they wont even have this stuff at all. In the U.S. for a time I would not buy the halal meat as it had too much blood and I could tell they weren’t draining it.

This remained the case for about 6 years until finally some Vietnamese and Cambodian Muslim brothers stepped up and filled the gap. Before then, I would speak to the rabbis, discuss why the ultra-orthodox don’t recognise Israel and also sometimes get into spirited but respectful debates about the identity of the Messiah.

Never saw anything untoward. Maybe I should go mail order. For those that are parents, this is another challenge to overcome. As for those who are not parents yet, think if you can bear the responsibility of raising children in a dignified way in which they have a childhood and don’t get robbed/seduced out of it early.

Until next time,

Al-Hajj Abu Ja`far Al-Hanbali